Letter to Life 21.9.2025

Sunday 21.9.2025 at 14.40 – Eija

This letter began to take shape yesterday when we hit the road again. Now our goal is to take care of concrete matters in this concrete world. These matters are also necessary and sometimes take up a large part of my time, which I would, to be honest, rather spend in my own heart space, quiet and alone, but I know that they are very important. There is a Solar Eclipse tonight, and its power has brought me face to face with all of this that wells up inside me, during my own personal anti-solar time. How do I have the strength to still keep going, what do I know, what is important, where is the balance, where is my own time, and where is everything else… So many questions we all ask, which life then gradually answers. For me, as well as for you.

Letter to Life, September 21, 2025

“Life, You, the great Teacher, what do you still want from me, where do you want to take me? Tell me how to hear you correctly, how to solve all these many important questions that you bring to me. Dear Life, what else do you have in store for me? How much more can I do when my time here is running out?

You do know that my soul was born tired, old, aware of the ways of the world and the difficulties of human life. You, Life, know how often as a child I gazed at the stars or buried my face in mosses and cried, missing home. I longed so much to be in the arms of the great Life, in the arms of comfort and love. For already then I knew that I am alone, that nothing earthly will bring that Love to me, not even this time. How I mourned then for all the futility of the world, and how deeply I mourn for the world even now.

At that time, I did not yet know how You would break my heart many, many times and through many people. How You taught me through that how much pride I carried and how separate I was from others, in my own wounds. For You have shown me how broken my soul was when I was born into this life, and it was only through other people that I was able to perceive it. Too many human lives, futile attempts, lack of wisdom and guidance, loneliness, futile paths and choices, disappointments, etc. accumulated as memories that covered my Self and broke my trust and faith. In people, in this world, in the future.

You, Life, also broke my body, took me to see the gates of death, which I would gladly have stepped through once again. At that moment, however, you brought before me the Lives that were waiting for me and called me Mother. My great Teachers and my students. And so you pulled me back to experiencing and deepening a purer Love. It was that great moment in Life when I was able to begin to believe, love, and trust people again, as well as what I knew in my pure heart to be the Truth of Life. It was the Truth about the Source that maintains Life. There is no other truth, not here, nor in the stars, which I still long for.

But even after that, You, Life, broke yet my backbone, took once more away my faith in myself and that I could anything, that I had learned anything, understood anything about Life. I got to look deep into the place where darkness dwells and wants to pull me along into a place where there is no life, only decay. I sank and sank, until Life, You came once again to get me and made me remember, as if with my last ounce of strength, that You are Light, You are Life, that can carry me, if I only could dare to trust, to surrender. A miracle happened. For that, I thank You forever, everywhere.

I’d rather not look back, but instead at this moment, which Life is carrying even now. But still I ask, what more do You want from me? For You know that I am tired, that I have already given what I thought was necessary, also useful to others. What do you still want from me? For You do see that I still do not quite understand the world, people’s lives, their enthusiasm and sources of joy. I am still lost here, just as I was when I was born into this form. Life! Guide me so that in my last years I may bring something good into the world, something that could carry other souls over the points where their hearts, bodies, or backbones are broken, so that you didn’t teach me for nothing.

Life, you see me as I am, even though people see me as they can. You see all my weaknesses, my fatigue, and my great ignorance and stupidity. You know that this is another opportunity for my soul to make a change, to deepen my compassion, to strengthen my love for people, for the world, and for You, Life. You see how deeply I have already learned to love people, all those here who, like me, suffer, search, wander, live in loneliness, and cry out to Life for help. Only You see what we together with others have tried, experienced, and wanted to give.

Life, you have often put in front of me big things and decisions, as you do now. Why? Even at this moment, I feel inadequate,  a heavy burden of responsibility in front of all these souls who are in my life. Life, why are you putting me in front of great things even now, making me choose the right direction and stepping onto an uncertain, difficult path? Why do you trust me when I don’t trust myself? Life, I fear great tasks, great responsibility, and yet you continue to offer them to me. You do remember how, when I was young, I only wanted a safe and peaceful home, nature, a garden, and these dear souls who still call me mother. And now here I am. You can see that I am crying, my heart is full of self-doubt and mistrust, and fear of stepping forward through the new cycle. I feel how you look at me with compassion and support. You know me like no one else does.

Life, you already know that I have given myself into your hands. So what do you want from me? How could I yet serve you and show the world your beautiful, wonderful face? Show me, guide me, and let me understand if my thoughts are the same as yours. Has my time already come to an end, or is it still necessary to try to share what you have taught me? What else could I do so my own plan here would be fulfilled at least this time, in this form in which I now exist? 

For You do know, as I do, that I have returned from here so many times, and did not to live at all, but only to performed my human part here. That is why my soul was born broken with grief, as if to heal for the last time. And for that I thank You, Life! You have given me a great opportunity to heal, to gather all my experiences from everywhere together and to leave them with hope to support them. For now I too know that there is hope, there is love, and we can have trust in people. I also know that without You, we cannot achieve anything better, but neither can we live Life without each other, which is the purpose and aim of all this.

Once again, however, I pray with all my heart: Help me in my sorrow as I look at the world, at people, at this direction, which is not Life but destruction. Give me the faith and strength to hear what You still want from me. For I have no other help, You, Life, are the only one who knows.

Gratitude for this moment remains to live in my heart, despite the sorrow in my soul.
Thank you, Life, for managing to carry me this far, for supporting me, and taking me forward.

P.S. I want to confess something that you already know, but… I have often blamed you for the difficult challenges you have brought my way. Not only that, I have also blamed those you have chosen to send to me as messengers. Now I understand more. I understand that you and I together have planned all this and made it happen. 

And one more thing. Thank you for accepting my letter with a smile, even though I complained a little, or maybe a lot… Thank you for letting me pour out my heart, because now it is much lighter and brighter. 

And one more thing! I am so looking forward to tomorrow’s gate opening and receiving a Loving and healing greeting from what I can call my soul’s Home. 

And I promise to write regularly now, so that you can also hear this person’s story of how things are going here. I love you.”

I am so grateful, because Life gives me and all of us an opportunity. NOW! Life is now. Let’s embrace it.